Husband Down Isle 7
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
He never knew what hit him.
Moral support requested
by Honyox R Us » Sat Jun 02, 2012 12:37 pm
A guy comes home from work to find his wife packing her bags.
Hubby: "Where are you going?"
Wife: "I'm moving to Vegas. I just read an article and found out that prostitutes are making a hundred bucks a pop for what I've been doing for free with you all these years!!"
Hubby goes to the closet and grabs a suitcase and starts packing as well.
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Hubby: "I'm going too. I gotta see how you survive on 400 bucks a year!" :P
Hubby: "Where are you going?"
Wife: "I'm moving to Vegas. I just read an article and found out that prostitutes are making a hundred bucks a pop for what I've been doing for free with you all these years!!"
Hubby goes to the closet and grabs a suitcase and starts packing as well.
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Hubby: "I'm going too. I gotta see how you survive on 400 bucks a year!" :P
- Honyox R Us
- Posts: 55
- Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:34 pm
3 wishes
by jsam9801 » Sat Jun 02, 2012 2:39 pm
A guy is walking on the beach, when suddently he trips on something. He looks down and proceeds to pick up something that looks like a magic lamp. He rubs it, thinking what the heck. All of a sudden, a plume of smoke appears and a genie appears in front of him.
Genie: Oh, thank you, I have been stuck in there for 1,000 years. To show my thankfulness, I will grant you 3 wishes.
Guy: Ok, I wish for a convertible.
**Poof** the prettiest Bentley convertible just appeared in front of him.
Guy: Wow! I wish for 10 million dollars.
**Poof** A bank statement shows up in his hand. On it, is an account number in his name with a 10,000,000 balance.
The guy was now so excited, that he proceeded to jump in his car and go for a drive. He was in such a good mood, that he started to sing his favorite song.
Guy: I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner.
**Poof** :lol:
Genie: Oh, thank you, I have been stuck in there for 1,000 years. To show my thankfulness, I will grant you 3 wishes.
Guy: Ok, I wish for a convertible.
**Poof** the prettiest Bentley convertible just appeared in front of him.
Guy: Wow! I wish for 10 million dollars.
**Poof** A bank statement shows up in his hand. On it, is an account number in his name with a 10,000,000 balance.
The guy was now so excited, that he proceeded to jump in his car and go for a drive. He was in such a good mood, that he started to sing his favorite song.
Guy: I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner.
**Poof** :lol:
- jsam9801
- Posts: 55
- Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:34 pm
You want moral support?
by fredpaii » Sun Jun 03, 2012 8:30 am
Don't steal
Don't kill
Don't commit adultry
and above all don't die until you give me that free league.
Don't kill
Don't commit adultry
and above all don't die until you give me that free league.
- fredpaii
- Posts: 55
- Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:34 pm
Re: Moral support requested
by fredpaii » Sun Jun 03, 2012 10:24 am
[quote:95ad4d16b4="bernieh"]Hey everyone...
This may be a rare, unusually personal post from me, but here goes. I've been working like an absolute lunatic on this site rebuild and transition for the last 6 months, and now, going into the stretch run, I'm kinda breaking down. I went to the doctor today for what's apparently [i:95ad4d16b4]stress-related bleeding[/i:95ad4d16b4], which started last week and has been freaking me out. I've still got energy and am determined to power through this and make our launch successful, but I have to admit it's been a bit of a struggle.
I'm not (just?) trying to garner sympathy here (though at this point I'm not too proud to accept it). What I'm asking for is a laugh. I could use one right now.
Who's got a good joke for me? Nothing too explicit, racist, political, or offensive. But otherwise... make me laugh. Please!
Stay tuned for more info about the transition.[/quote:95ad4d16b4]
Bernie, I know you asked to laugh but I have found something else that relieves stress. That's meditation. It could be from a CD/DVD on guided meditation or from a hypno-therapist that helps you relieve stress. Of course the hypno-therapist is more costly.
This may be a rare, unusually personal post from me, but here goes. I've been working like an absolute lunatic on this site rebuild and transition for the last 6 months, and now, going into the stretch run, I'm kinda breaking down. I went to the doctor today for what's apparently [i:95ad4d16b4]stress-related bleeding[/i:95ad4d16b4], which started last week and has been freaking me out. I've still got energy and am determined to power through this and make our launch successful, but I have to admit it's been a bit of a struggle.
I'm not (just?) trying to garner sympathy here (though at this point I'm not too proud to accept it). What I'm asking for is a laugh. I could use one right now.
Who's got a good joke for me? Nothing too explicit, racist, political, or offensive. But otherwise... make me laugh. Please!
Stay tuned for more info about the transition.[/quote:95ad4d16b4]
Bernie, I know you asked to laugh but I have found something else that relieves stress. That's meditation. It could be from a CD/DVD on guided meditation or from a hypno-therapist that helps you relieve stress. Of course the hypno-therapist is more costly.
- fredpaii
- Posts: 55
- Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:34 pm
by corey375 » Sun Jun 03, 2012 12:07 pm
Woman walks into a bar with a duck under her arm.
Bartender: "What are you doing here with that pig?"
Woman: "It's not a pig, it's a duck."
Bartender: "I know, I was talking to the duck."
Q: How can you tell when a woman has an orgasm?
A: Who cares!
Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, but I don't know how they get in there.
Or my all-time favorite ...
A bear and a rabbit are taking a crap in the woods.
The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Hey rabbit, do you have any problem with $hit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit thinks about it a second and says, "well, no."
So the bear wipes his a$$ with the rabbit.
Bartender: "What are you doing here with that pig?"
Woman: "It's not a pig, it's a duck."
Bartender: "I know, I was talking to the duck."
Q: How can you tell when a woman has an orgasm?
A: Who cares!
Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, but I don't know how they get in there.
Or my all-time favorite ...
A bear and a rabbit are taking a crap in the woods.
The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Hey rabbit, do you have any problem with $hit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit thinks about it a second and says, "well, no."
So the bear wipes his a$$ with the rabbit.
- corey375
- Posts: 55
- Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:34 pm
Re: 3 wishes
by TRW » Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:29 pm
[quote:455f12fa99="jsam9801"]A guy is walking on the beach, when suddently he trips on something. He looks down and proceeds to pick up something that looks like a magic lamp. He rubs it, thinking what the heck. All of a sudden, a plume of smoke appears and a genie appears in front of him.
Genie: Oh, thank you, I have been stuck in there for 1,000 years. To show my thankfulness, I will grant you 3 wishes.
Guy: Ok, I wish for a convertible.
**Poof** the prettiest Bentley convertible just appeared in front of him.
Guy: Wow! I wish for 10 million dollars.
**Poof** A bank statement shows up in his hand. On it, is an account number in his name with a 10,000,000 balance.
The guy was now so excited, that he proceeded to jump in his car and go for a drive. He was in such a good mood, that he started to sing his favorite song.
Guy: I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner.
**Poof** :lol:[/quote:455f12fa99]
I told that joke in day camp 35 years ago.
Genie: Oh, thank you, I have been stuck in there for 1,000 years. To show my thankfulness, I will grant you 3 wishes.
Guy: Ok, I wish for a convertible.
**Poof** the prettiest Bentley convertible just appeared in front of him.
Guy: Wow! I wish for 10 million dollars.
**Poof** A bank statement shows up in his hand. On it, is an account number in his name with a 10,000,000 balance.
The guy was now so excited, that he proceeded to jump in his car and go for a drive. He was in such a good mood, that he started to sing his favorite song.
Guy: I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner.
**Poof** :lol:[/quote:455f12fa99]
I told that joke in day camp 35 years ago.
- TRW
- Posts: 55
- Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:34 pm
by TRW » Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:42 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK0ujYV2DNQ
[size=18:6c482a1ab8][color=darkblue:6c482a1ab8]This newscast on youtube is by far the funniest thing on this thread. Check it out. [/color:6c482a1ab8][/size:6c482a1ab8]
[size=18:6c482a1ab8][color=darkblue:6c482a1ab8]This newscast on youtube is by far the funniest thing on this thread. Check it out. [/color:6c482a1ab8][/size:6c482a1ab8]
Last edited by TRW on Sun Jun 03, 2012 10:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- TRW
- Posts: 55
- Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:34 pm
Return to Strat-O-Matic Baseball Online 20xx
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests